Posts by Caitlin

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Disney on Ice!

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We did a thing!

I’m not sure if it was more for us or more for the kids (okay it was definitely more for us), but we decided to try out Disney on Ice. Hands down my favorite part of Christmas.

Disney magic is always wonderful and immediately made me tear up, but maybe part of it was also the privilege to bring my children such joy at a time when our world seems to falling apart - it was a nice break for sure. I’ve also learned that anytime you can show a child something completely new is pretty amazing. Watching them take in something they didn’t know existed is honestly one of my favorite parts of being a parent. It’s a little sad knowing that if we do this again, it might not be as amazing, but this time was worth it.

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A Train Party

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We have an almost 4 year old in our house, which means it was time for a party! G is someone who doesn’t require much to make him happy, which is great, but it also means it’s hard to do something like plan a party. If I ask him what he likes or if he has any toys he’d like, he has a hard time answering. Anything and everything can make him happy, but he’s also happy without.

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Mother's and Mama Day

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May is quickly becoming my least favorite month, which is unfortunate, because it used to be my favorite. But it suddenly feels like there’s so much to do and plan! It’s hard to think about myself, and my birthday (or Mother’s Day) when I’m trying to play E’s birthday. I’m trying to find a happy medium, though, where I’ll still celebrate and enjoy myself but not be too stressed. I joked this year that I’m going to start moving my birthday to February, because I could use some more fun there, and less to do in May.

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Easter Parts I & II

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One of the coolest parts about becoming an adult is realizing you really can make up your own rules a lot of the time. Things are still way less fun than I thought they would be, and I’m still mad that you don’t really get to pick the color of your car or your house like I thought you would, but every once in a while being an adult is totally worth it.

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A Dark Car Ride Home

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There are times, and today is one of them, where I look around and I’m so thankful and over the moon happy for this family that I have. Pinch my arm because I’m not sure how I got this lucky, happy. Not all days are like this, of course, and if I’m being honest the whole day didn’t even feel like this. But it ended well, and so as I’m sitting in the dark with a baby that’s almost asleep, I’m holding on to that feeling.

Most days I’m just spinning in circles trying to do damage control and make sure at least the majority of the children are fed and not crying. My mental to do list is constant and never ending, and when I collapse in bed at the end of the day (or the start of the next day? Trust me it’s late) I don’t have a lot of time to think about where we are in life.

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Birth Story Part III - Everything Else

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So this is normally the part of my birth story where I talk about all the complications and how badly I hemorrhaged afterwards. Except this time I had a doctor that actually listened when I told her my history and it was a game changer. I think I lost less blood than I did with E. It was amazing to not only feel okay minutes after delivery, but to have a calm delivery room. No one rushed the baby away, no extra help rushing in, just a quiet room.

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Not Quite Perfect Storm

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We had a rare hurricane headed our way recently, which caused a small bit of worry. Hurricanes aren’t a normal thing around here, and we mostly just worry about flooding and power outages (neither of which are really a problem at our house fortunately), but with the added stress of being pregnant, we worried slightly more. Or got excited - there was a bit of joking that the hurricane might send me into labor. Not that it would have been ideal, but when you get towards the end any thought of it being over can be exciting.

It didn’t happen though, and mostly the hurricane was nothing. Hardly any rain and it wasn’t really windy except for ONE single gust that caused some damage to our patio.

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Sugar Sugar

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Anyone who’s been around for my previous pregnancies knows my history with the glucose tests - as in I’ve never passed the 1 hour test and have had to take the 3 hour test each pregnancy (which I passed for both E and G!)

So this time I talked to one of the doctors about my history and whether jumping to the 3 hour test would make sense. She agreed, and so it was scheduled during a time I needed labs drawn anyway. So that’s how I found myself enjoying my day off in the lab of the local hospital.

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Happy Birthday to Me!

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Mostly here to remind myself - I honestly woke up this morning and had no clue. I’ve been doing this thing lately where I focus so much on E’s birthday, that I completely forget about mine. My birthday, which I used to spend 2 months planning and thinking about. Instead I spend that time thinking about how to make E’s birthday special. Nothing particularly wrong with that, I suppose, but my goal for the next year is to try not to forget about myself so much. I’m sure it would be easy to do with 3 small children, so maybe if I make a promise to myself now, I’ll at least be thinking about it.

Anyway, happy birthday to me!

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Here We Go Again

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This past year, as awful as it’s been at times, has also taught me a lot. About what’s important, what makes me happy, and what I think is really important in life. I’ve also realized I no longer have the energy to waste on things like keeping secrets. And so, one of the bigger secrets I’ve had to keep in my adult life, I have no interest in keeping again.

I’m pregnant!

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A Beach Trip

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We’re trying.

I’ve never really been a water or beach person, but occasionally I find it nice. A lounge chair and a book here, standing in the water up to my waist there. I don’t love it like I see other people love it, but I can enjoy it from time to time. Tom is, of course, the swimmer. Better than all of us, he’s so good at it, you can’t help but expect some of it to rub off on our children.

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The Original May Birthday

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Quarantine birthdays are not an unique experience anymore. We’ve had months of people celebrating in quarantine at this point, and we’ve missed first birthdays and 18th birthdays and so my 35th wasn’t a huge deal. We probably wouldn’t have done much different had there not been a quarantine. Sure, I would have loved to go to a movie theater or sat in a Starbucks while I caught up with my best friend, but the empty parking lot where we met while we sat in our trunks was actually kind of fun. It certainly made it memorable.

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It's a Lot

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Life has seemed a bit harder than usual lately. And not the normal kind of hard. That kind of hard I’m used to – the push through even though you’re tired, get everyone where they need to be and just survive until life calms down type of hard. This is more emotionally hard, and it’s exhausting in a completely different way.

It’s the deep sigh that comes from once again realizing that it’s not that this country isn’t ready for equality, it’s that it doesn’t want it. It’s that familiar feeling of feeling a bit invisible, a bit stepped on, a bit like you’re screaming in a crowded room and no one can hear you. We’ve been here before, we live here. We’ll swallow the pain and move on.

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A First Birthday

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My dad has been telling me this my entire life, but December birthdays are hard! It’s such a busy time of year, there’s so much on our list to get done, and suddenly we had a first birthday party to plan! And I knew I both needed to, and wanted two for two reasons. One, I didn’t want to fall into the trap of second child gets less. I’m trying hard to make sure that both of my children get enough. Enough love, enough pictures, enough of feeling special. Which means their own day to celebrate their birthday.

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Adult Update

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Hello! It’s me, a fully functioning adult, and I’m here to talk about things besides the tiny humans that I live with. I know, crazy right?

I went back to work this week. It’s a little weird because it’s 6 weeks earlier than last time, and I keep expecting myself to be at the same spot that I was when I went back to work after E. But it’s only been 10 weeks since I gave birth, and it was my second pregnancy and labor was harder on my body this time, so I’m not quite the same. I am feeling great, but not 100% “normal” and I’m still searching for clothes that fit. Maybe I’ll never get exactly back to where I was, but I need to keep reminding myself that it hasn’t been THAT long.

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By the Numbers

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I’m actually doing okay this week, physically at least. Mentally I’m all over the place. Both with worrying about E (even though I know he’s fine) and new baby (who’s going to be uber monitored so I also shouldn’t be worried), but I really feel like I could use a relaxing vacation or something right now (never going to happen).

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Third Trimester

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It’s time to get BIG!

Seriously though. They say that everything happens quicker in subsequent pregnancies because your body remembers this time around, but whoa is it true. It’s like my body just said “oh remember what it felt like to be 9 months pregnant? Let’s jump there NOW!”

So I’m feeling very big, and slow, and out of breath. I can’t breathe very well and doing almost anything leaves me panting. Who would have thought sitting on the couch would be so hard? My clothes are already uncomfortable, and it’s already impossible for me to find a position to sleep or sit in that feels good.

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Slowing Down

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It's so easy to get caught up in routines and responsibilities.  Head down, moving along until the next appointment or time you need to be doing something.  I forget, sometimes, to stop and look around.  To breathe and enjoy the fact that it's no longer winter.  To sit and be happy with nothing to do.  To get outside at lunch, instead of sitting at my desk because it's what I did yesterday.