Covid19

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Parents of the Tiny Humans are Tired

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First there was a pandemic which closed schools and daycares, and forced parents to be fulltime caregivers while also working full time with no breaks. And if you happened to get sick, you still had to take care of those children while you maybe couldn’t get out of bed yourself.

Then the country reopened almost a year before there were vaccines for little kids to keep them safer.

Then because everyone was sick of precautions and had weakened immune systems from the pandemic, there is a tri-demic of Covid and Flu and RSV going around, all of which is particularly terrifying for small children.

Life These Days

Is this just life now? None stop crisis on top of crisis? Never enough time to be caught up? I swear it wasn’t this hard pre pandemic… but then again we had less children, pets, everything back then. I know it’s a season and I’m trying very hard to lean into this season and just enjoy it for what it is.

And if it was just craziness related to schedules and tantrums and general living with small people, I think it would be easier to understand. But it definitely feels like more lately. Covid is hitting more often and closer than before, which is stressful. It’s really hard to sit in a work meeting listening to your boss tell you that it’s no big deal when you’ve got a friend with a baby in the hospital. When you have two friends who have lost parents to Covid and your parents are home sick, hours away from you. When you have friends who are dealing with long Covid, and how it impacts their life every single day.

Ongoing Pandemic

As this pandemic continues on and on and on, one thing I’m very sick of is how long I spend searching for things. Do we even remember fully stocked shelves anymore? When a shopping trip meant you knew you’d be able to cross everything off your list? Because so many people in the world are still getting sick and missing work, it’s really messed with the supply chain. Apparently these things were hanging in a precarious balance that could easily be tipped. Current things I’ve been unable to find or am having a hard time finding: baby formula, tampons and contact solution. All completely random things that I don’t feel like I could predict, but all things that are essential. Which means when you can’t find them, your life is interrupted while you spend all of your extra time and energy to find these things. Extra time and energy that you didn’t really have in the first place. It’s soul sucking.

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Never Ending

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None of this is new, and I’m certainly not alone in struggling, but I feel like it needs to be repeated. So much of the country (world?) has moved on. They’ve declared the pandemic over. Masks are gone, people are going to concerts and eating at restaurants and working in the office. Everything is supposed to magically go back to “normal.”

Except.

It’s not true if you’ve got small children.

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Happy Bunnies

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I don’t even know how to describe life right now. Some moments are calm and I’m so content my eyes well up with happy tears looking at my big beautiful family. Some are so chaotic that I can’t catch my breath and I’m constantly running and I don’t know if my kids are fine or if I’m failing them. And some days I feel like everything I’m doing is wrong and I’m definitely failing them. So I guess if I give you an answer one day and you don’t like the answer, just ask again a few minutes later?

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A Trip, Two Years Late

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I really never thought it would happen. I refused to pack suitcases, I didn’t have a rental car booked - I was so sure that something would go wrong and we’d cancel again. I was having some major flashbacks to the last time too. When we had our paper chain countdown going, and I had to throw it away before we reached the end, and then sit my two year old down and tell him that we’d be staying home for a while.

So I guess this post is fitting to follow the last one. I wish I could say it’s a triumph over the pandemic, but it’s not. We still have a 60% unvaccinated household, although I hold out hope that will change by this summer. But maybe we’re slowly finding a way to live with this pandemic. To find a way to live but also be safe? I hope that’s the case.

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The Pandemic Post

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I’ve thought about writing this post a million times, but since we were IN it, it felt like maybe I should wait. Until it was over. Now I’m beginning to wonder if it ever will be over. And the before time, it’s so far away now, that it’s hard to remember.

So here is a very messy, probably very long, in between post about this pandemic we’re living through. Because some day our kids might ask. Because it’s probably not a bad idea to write down some memories. To reflect on the craziness. I’m going to break it up into sections - it probably won’t make it any shorter, but maybe easier for me to write.

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This Season

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Nothing about this pandemic makes sense to me anymore, but one of the more annoying things is that some daycares let parents into the buildings while others do not. I understand the logic, and I’m not someone who’s going to fight against people who are trying to keep my children safe, but I will admit that it would be so much easier if I was allowed inside the building.

Yes I’d like to be able to see what’s going on in my children’s classroom, and be able to check that they have enough extra clothes that still fit them and if the baby needs more diapers or not, but also because it would be easier to gather everything. It would be nice to be able to strap the baby into car seat and gather all the things that need to go back and forth every day from inside a building. And not in the cold or the rain.

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The Crazy Sets In

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We’re creeping up on our two year anniversary of being home. Our two year anniversary of our two week home quarantine. There’s a whole lot of feelings that accompany that, but right now I’m more focused on the fact that I’m going crazy. Two years of not really leaving your house will do that, I’m sure. But here’s the clear evidence: we decided to potty train and sleep train at the same time. I’m not sure how or why this happened, but this is where we’ve found ourselves. We had grand plans to send the third child to daycare so we’d have some time at home to focus a bit more, but daycare messed up those plans. They claimed that one child was sick, so they sent home the whole family. Fine policy in theory I guess, but this is the second time they’ve done that, and we’ve yet to see an actual sick kid. Apparently one of the tiny ones have discovered an easy way to make the teacher believe they’re “sick” and get sent home. I really thought I had years before this level of treachery.

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Expectations

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As a parent, it’s easy to get an idea in your head about how things might go, or how you’d like them to go. I see it a lot this time of year when everyone is booking family photos and thinking of upcoming holiday cards. For example I might think that if I buy matching pjs and book photos with a Santa early in November, we could have a cute photo for our card. I might even think I’m being flexible when I consider the possibility that the baby would be crying, because that might make a funny card.

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Passing Time

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E and I have been discussing time lately. Specifically how it can sometimes go quickly, while other times it seems to take forever. It started during nap time. E is getting to an age where he hasn’t given up naps yet, but he doesn’t take one every day either. We tell him that he can nap if he wants to, and if not he can have quiet time in his room. He usually does a combination of resting in his bed, maybe with a book, or playing with his dollhouse.

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Birth Story Part III - Everything Else

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So this is normally the part of my birth story where I talk about all the complications and how badly I hemorrhaged afterwards. Except this time I had a doctor that actually listened when I told her my history and it was a game changer. I think I lost less blood than I did with E. It was amazing to not only feel okay minutes after delivery, but to have a calm delivery room. No one rushed the baby away, no extra help rushing in, just a quiet room.

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Birth Story Part II - Active Labor/Birth

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Despite willing it to be true, I didn’t have a baby by morning. Both E & G were born on a Sunday at 2am, but this baby decided to be different. I also didn’t get a ton of sleep either. I wasn’t feeling painful contractions, but lying down was uncomfortable. Unless I was sitting up or walking around, I’d get a little crampy, just enough that I couldn’t fall asleep. I think I managed to sleep from 11:30 - 1 am and again from 3:45 - 4:30 am when contractions slowed down a bit. Because they slowed down, I got a second dose of medication at that time.

I was feeling a bit frustrated and impatient (as was everyone who knew I was at the hospital waiting for updates!) but I managed to eat a granola bar and some apple juice and started to get my mind around the fact I might be here for a while.

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Birth Story Part I - Early Labor

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I was rereading G’s birth story, and laughed that I said the labor went too fast. I guess I had it coming then. Third babies have a reputation for being tricky. First babies take a while, second babies are quick, and third babies do what they want. They’ve got extra room and can flip all over, and apparently are in no rush to be born. This one wasn’t, anyway. Just absolutely did not want to be born. Usually leading up to your due date there will be some sign that labor is approaching, but not with this one. Usually at some point during labor the nurses will let you know that the baby isn’t happy and we either need to move positions or work towards a quicker delivery. Not this one - every time they checked her she was perfectly happy.

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Someone's Not Behaving

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Apparently this baby was listening when I mentioned that I was feeling pretty good this pregnancy, and again when I jokingly called this baby my favorite and easiest child. I should have learned from E & G by now, because they love to prove me wrong, and apparently baby does too.

At my last appointment I mentioned two things to the midwife which made her pause and make a face - I was feeling extremely nauseous again, and baby’s movements had changed. I think she actually said “uh oh” before seeing if her hunch was right.

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A Few Firsts

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So these probably aren’t the normal first that we usually celebrate, but we’ll mention them here just the same. They’re still a part of life, and worth documenting.

Starting with, a first for our eldest tiny human - E’s first bee sting! For some a childhood rite of passage, while others reach adulthood without ever getting stung. Oddly enough I had just been talking to my best friend about how her daughter (and one of E’s best friends) had stepped on a bee two days earlier and gotten stung. I never imagined that he’d be following right behind her!

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A Sad Day

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Daycare during a pandemic is really hard. We’re not allowed in the building, and we’re not supposed to chat with the teachers when we pick up or drop off. That leaves us knowing very little about what goes on in the classrooms. I used to know the name of every kid in the room, and would spend 10-15 minutes in the room when I picked E&G up. Checking how many diapers they had, if they needed a change of clothes, picking up their artwork, but also seeing how the room functioned and getting to know the teachers. I could see who E&G were friends with, how they interacted in the room, and I felt like I knew what was going on.

All that’s gone now, of course. We get pictures and daily reports, but it’s not quite the same. I have to rely on what E&G tell me directly, which is partial information at best.

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A Slow and Small Return to Normal(ish)

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Not a ton of time has gone by, but the last post I made had snow on the ground. It’s slow, but things are changing, and for the better. After a year of stagnation, it’s both amazing and unsettling to witness change again.

The weather is definitely warmer, which means more time outside, and with that comes playground dates again. Such a simple thing that we’ve taken for granted in the past, but makes the kids so happy, and tires them out like nothing else. Combined with spending the rest of the day outside at home, they sleep so well too.

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Easter

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So as E tells it, “Our Easter Mouse comes and hides all the eggs!” I’m not sure when it changed from a bunny to a mouse, but either way, eggs were hidden. I saw a tip from a different mom who bought eggs in two different colors for her children, to ensure there was no fighting during the egg hunt. Of course it was after we had gotten out all of our multicolored eggs, but I figured if there was a lot of conflict this year, it could be a backup for next year.

Instead, both G and E were pretty cooperative. Tom and I had to help G a bit to make sure he was finding eggs, but if we told E that a certain egg needed to go to his brother, he was okay with it. By the end, I think the count was 15 to 19 or something like that. Close enough for me.