This Season

Nothing about this pandemic makes sense to me anymore, but one of the more annoying things is that some daycares let parents into the buildings while others do not. I understand the logic, and I’m not someone who’s going to fight against people who are trying to keep my children safe, but I will admit that it would be so much easier if I was allowed inside the building.

Yes I’d like to be able to see what’s going on in my children’s classroom, and be able to check that they have enough extra clothes that still fit them and if the baby needs more diapers or not, but also because it would be easier to gather everything. It would be nice to be able to strap the baby into car seat and gather all the things that need to go back and forth every day from inside a building. And not in the cold or the rain.

But that’s not where we’re at right now. Maybe someday.

I will say I’ve never felt more seen though, as when the director met me at the door yesterday while attempting to carry three backpacks, a car seat and a baby, while also herding two preschoolers towards the door. I’ve never seen her look more disheveled, and she was laughing and kept saying “I don’t know how to do this!”

The secret is, neither do we.

We’re figuring it out, and we’ll get better at it, but it’s not easy. At least now I know what I look like whenever I’m alone with all three children now.

It’s weird to know that life probably won’t ever be as hard as it is now. Does that make me want to speed up and get through it as quickly as possible? Or savor every moment knowing it won’t last? Lately I’ve been really trying to acknowledge each season that we’re in, understanding that they’re all fleeting. It makes it easier, I think, and gives me a bit more patience.

I gave the boys all haircuts recently. As with everything we do, it took a bit of planning and coordination. We timed it so that we were ready to go, and as soon as we put F down for her nap, we ran to do haircuts (in the garage since it was too cold outside), baby monitor in hand. Later that night, as we were putting E to bed, he was narrating the day and said “We all did such a good job today! Good job Mama cutting our hair! And good job to F for sleeping really well! And good job to me and G and Dah for sitting still and getting our hair cut!!”

Besides being cute to hear, it really was an accomplishment for our family. It may be little, it may be something that’s easy or taken for granted in other families, but it was definitely something to celebrate for us. In this season anyway.

So we’ll celebrate surviving the first day of having three children in daycare (even if we don’t feel like celebrating when we pay that bill every month…) because it is a milestone for us, in this season. Logistically the planning to make yesterday happen started months ago. It took effort and timing from all of us, as schedules need to be adjusted and many things need to happen at once.

Thankfully we won’t always have three in daycare, but at the same time that will mean that our oldest has started Kindergarten, and I’m not ready for that milestone yet. So three in daycare sounds great today.

And I’m going to keep practicing just sitting with the moment we’re in. Watching how little my children are, and listening to the things they say. Like this last random thought I’ll leave you with. We were watching the news recently, and there was a cruise ship on the screen. G saw it and said “Look at that boat! Big boat!” And E told him with certainty: “That’s a skyscraper boat.” G was confused and said “skyscrapers don’t move!” and E just shook his head “I said it was a skyscraper BOAT!”


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