Recently we’ve been hitting our stride a bit. And I was feeling a bit confident. So I told Tom he should take a night away, and get a bit of rest. He had some vacation days he needed to use, and I was pretty sure I could survive getting the kids to and from daycare without him.
Sure it involved solo bedtime with all three, and getting them all off to school the next day, but it was feeling doable. So off Tom went.
It’s time for a bit of an update. Things that seem totally normal in our life right now, but I know if I don’t write them down, I’ll forget them. And some of these are things I don’t want to forget.
First, let’s talk F and her sleep. SHE SLEEPS! The sleep consultant was completely worth it, and I’ve been recommending everyone I know who has kids to immediately get one. At bedtime we’re back to just laying her in her crib and walking away. That’s it. Some days she’ll happily sing to us over the baby monitor, and others she’ll just go straight to sleep. She’s sleeping 11.5 hours a night, which is slightly less than her siblings probably slept at this age, but I’ll take it. We’re not getting up in the night anymore, and she’s not waking at 4am. Naps seem to be fixed too. I’m sure that’s where a lot of my optimism has come from lately, because everything seems easier when we’re not all tired.
Some days are still really hard. That’s not new. But occasionally.. some days are less hard? We find our self getting brave and leaving the house more and more. This past weekend we went on 3 separate outings as a family of 5. Most were less than an hour, but even a month ago we weren’t even averaging one.
Pickups have been hard for me since F started walking. There were days when all three of them would be running in circles in the gym and there was nothing I could do. I love that this daycare has a gym, but it definitely makes my day harder, since you have to walk through the gym to exit the building. I can’t catch all of them at the same time. I can catch one, and then the minute I try and catch a second, the first one is gone again. They know they outnumber me and they just laugh. I really can’t do much but wait it out.
I can’t decide if the past 6 months have gone quickly or not. Sometimes it felt like a never ending slog that we were sleepwalking through, but on the other hand I swear we just celebrated F’s first birthday. Either way, we have an official 18 month old on our hands. And thanks to a sleep consultant, we are back on track with sleep and everyone is feeling more like themselves lately. F is back to sleeping and happily chatting in her crib, and it feels like at least one layer of stress has evaporated.
F remains the happiest Spearson, excited to be a part of things, and loves it when we go somewhere. She mostly gets mad when we try to remind her she’s a baby and can’t always do the same things that the older two can. Oh how quickly she’s going to demand equal treatment though. Already she fights back if someone tries to push her away.
When the end of January came around, I went looking for the bin of Valentine’s decorations. I was surprised to realize we only had 3 wooden hearts, a table cloth, and two things that hung from the ceiling. I was sure we’d decorated in past years, but couldn’t figure out why we didn’t have more. Which is why I love this blog, because it reminded me that last year we decorated with homemade Elmo and Abby Cadabby decorations, because that was what the kids wanted. And the year before I think we taped paper hearts to the wall.
So this year I was determined to find some more permanent decorations. The kids made it clear they were not happy with what we had, and honestly neither was I. There’s nothing like a nice distraction when life feels too heavy. So throw ourselves into Valentine’s day we did. We ended up with banners and hearts on the walls and a fully decorated house.
I don’t think it’s a secret that life has been hard for us lately. Really hard.
It’s not that we didn’t expect life with 3 small children to be difficult, but I think in my mind it was going to get easier when the youngest hit 18 months (which granted she’s not quite yet), and in early January we realized it felt like NOTHING was even getting close to better. In fact the past 6 months have felt the hardest we’ve ever had as parents, which is saying a lot.
I think we did okay the first year of having 3, but then everything started to change and it all chipped away at our equilibrium bit by bit. Work called us both back into the office, which directly took away time from our day to do things like laundry, or clean, or cook meals. And then sleep got worse. Our wonderful sleepers suddenly weren’t sleeping like they used to. Sickness hit over and over again, too. We went from having children in one school to two. The baby started walking and got older and her siblings saw her solely as a person who messes up their toys. Winter hit and we couldn’t go outside as much.
What do you focus on when it comes to Christmas? Do you walk away with rosy glasses on, remembering all the best moments and declaring it the best Christmas ever? Or do you focus on what went wrong, the disappointments and tears? Honestly, I kind of want to remember both. So here you have it, a tale of two Christmases:
The Good:
On Christmas Eve we exchanged sibling gifts, which gave them something to play with, but also caused them to get more excited about the random things they picked for each other (although they both ended up getting each other a paw patrol playset). We’d also had them pick out Christmas cards to give each other and Tom and I, which was a nice easy introduction into gifting presents to other people. It was pretty cute to see what cards they’d picked out thinking we’d like. We also spent a lot of time watching Christmas movies and cuddling on the couch.
First there was a pandemic which closed schools and daycares, and forced parents to be fulltime caregivers while also working full time with no breaks. And if you happened to get sick, you still had to take care of those children while you maybe couldn’t get out of bed yourself.
Then the country reopened almost a year before there were vaccines for little kids to keep them safer.
Then because everyone was sick of precautions and had weakened immune systems from the pandemic, there is a tri-demic of Covid and Flu and RSV going around, all of which is particularly terrifying for small children.
Merry Christmas!
We did it.
We’ve finished all of the lists. The magic has been created, we’ve attended events, seen Santa, decorated the whole house and yard, made the treats, ate the treats, bought and wrapped presents, and we’re here. The main event. It certainly feels like a marathon, but it’s all worth it.
So apparently this turkey cheese ball is going to be an annual tradition. Which is fine because honestly I think it’s super cute and is the easiest thing to make. Half the fun of having children is having someone to get excited with about silly things like this. I honestly might have skipped it this year, but the children insisted it happen. And they eat it! Which can’t be said for much of Thanksgiving food, so I was happy to have it. They’ll probably be making it themselves by next year.
Hello toddler!
Although she doesn’t have many words, she’s soo close to talking non stop. Sometimes babble just pours out of her mouth like she has so much to say and she’s tripping on all the sounds. Other times you’ll say something and she’ll immediately repeat it exactly once. I’ve heard kitty, “right there” and “hi bus” this week alone, but it disappears as quickly as it comes.
As we do, we started the Christmas season off early this year. I used to have a strict, wait until after Thanksgiving rule, but it’s definitely been relaxed lately. We still don’t have any Christmas trees up, but there are wrapped presents in my house, decorations are ready to go up soon, and we’ve done a few holiday events already. Speaking of those, we’ve had some hits and misses.
One of the hits for me at least, was visiting Santa! The older two are always a bit confused about why we’re doing it, and claim they don’t want to go, but I swear they have a lot of fun once we’re there. E jumped right in on signing his name to the “nice list” book they had, and then did G’s name too while G was warming up to everything. But soon they were both chatting with Santa, posing for pictures, and of course telling their life stories.
Happy Thanksgiving!
We’re in the middle of a school/daycare break and staying at home for a slow Thanksgiving. We’re not going very traditional - there will be no turkey and more pies than side dishes probably, but we’ll be happy and that’s all that really matters.
We’re wishing everyone else all the favorite foods and relaxed days too, and we’ll see you on the other side with all the Christmas trees!
Oh hi, it’s me.
I’ve been silent because life is insane lately. Work is horrible and overwhelming and there’s so much going on I could be working around the clock. Luckily I know how to set a strong boundary, but that just means that my boss is cranky and I’m pissed and everyone is miserable. But yes, let’s take on some more projects.
So I tend to leave work not in the best mood, to go pick up a Kindergartener who feels similar, and then we throw on some kids home from a long day of daycare and everyone could use a little grace lately. And some 1:1 Mama time (which is nearly impossible to come by). We were rescued during Veteran’s day weekend when my parents and Aunt Linzy came to visit. Besides the kids being thrilled, it gave us just enough breathing room for me to relax a bit and Tom to cross some things off our lists and leave us feeling a little less like we were drowning. I’m hopeful Thanksgiving will do the same.
As tired and overwhelmed as I am, there’s one thing I am throwing all my energy into. Making magic for the kids. I have a bunch of unread emails I keep meaning to reply to, and projects half done or not started, but I already have two Christmas events booked and ready for us, and I think Halloween went pretty well too!
There’s a thing we have to do as parents, where we decide what events to go to and what events to skip. We had a lot of extra events we decided to pass on this year because they were too late at night or going to be too crowded or long, and we decided it was going to be overwhelming for the kids. They got plenty of magic, though. Pumpkin patches, corn mazes, trunk or treats, and plenty of candy. We wore our matching PJs and did crafts, but of course the main event was Halloween night!
Is this just life now? None stop crisis on top of crisis? Never enough time to be caught up? I swear it wasn’t this hard pre pandemic… but then again we had less children, pets, everything back then. I know it’s a season and I’m trying very hard to lean into this season and just enjoy it for what it is.
And if it was just craziness related to schedules and tantrums and general living with small people, I think it would be easier to understand. But it definitely feels like more lately. Covid is hitting more often and closer than before, which is stressful. It’s really hard to sit in a work meeting listening to your boss tell you that it’s no big deal when you’ve got a friend with a baby in the hospital. When you have two friends who have lost parents to Covid and your parents are home sick, hours away from you. When you have friends who are dealing with long Covid, and how it impacts their life every single day.
Okay we’re going to ignore how tired Tom and I are and how never ending life seems, and pretend life is all candy corn and pumpkin spice instead, just like my coffee.
We’ve been indulging the kids and doing all the fall activities lately. We’ve made mummy brownies and bat cookies. We’ve painted decorations, carved pumpkins and made monsters with popsicle sticks, cotton ball ghosts and Halloween sand art crafts.
We have a lot of dreams and ideas when it comes to our house. Some of them we’ve managed to accomplish, and some we’ve pushed off. Sometimes we change our mind after living with a space for a while. I’m a big fan of making your house work for your current life, and being willing to edit it as life changes. Houses aren’t meant to be perfect. Try that weird paint color, give yourself grace over the messy floors (and counters and bathrooms and and and), or turn your dining room into a guest room if that’s what you need right now.
When we first moved in, we brainstormed every possible thing we might like to do, change, add or accomplish while we live here. On that list, but way down the line, was to finish our attic. It was a large empty space that was open with possibilities, and we thought about doing something with it in ten years or so.
Just like every other family in the area with young kids looking for something to do on the weekends, we went apple picking! I actually dislike apple picking, and never know what to do with all the apples you end up with, but it is a great activity for children. It’s outside, running around, a very unique activity they don’t get exposed to every day. Oh and there’s donuts.
I also love any practice of tradition. I think it adds a great rhythm to the year, and really cements memories for the kids. They remember that we did it last year, since they know what to expect it’s easier for them to look forward to leading up to it. It’s also a great moment as a parent to notice how much they’ve grown and changed over the past year. (cue sobs!)
In my last post I alluded to a week that I thought was busy. Oh if I only knew what was to come.
My last post was about E’s first day of school, which was a Wednesday. That same day I was dealing with a lot of side effects of the Covid vaccine - I had a fever and complete body aches all day, which was mostly annoying and stopped me from accomplishing as much as I would have liked, especially since it was a day with all three kids out of the house (the first in a while!)
F seemed fine that morning, with no trace of a fever, so we sent her to daycare and she was good there all day. We had the impending move from the house the upcoming weekend, but we were figuring it out. Some spray foam insulation needed to go in on Friday, so I’d book us a hotel from Thursday to Sunday which would allow us to move in Friday morning as soon as the kids were all off to school. That was Tom and I would be able to work from the hotel all day, pick the kids up like normal, and spend two nights in the hotel before moving back home.