You’d think now that we have a one year old and a two year old, things would be easier. And you’d be mostly right. It’s definitely easier than a one year old and an infant. Most days we’re having fun, and have a pretty good routine.
However.
There are still those days. You know the kind. Where for no obvious reason, things are just hard. We still have those days. We’ll probably always have them, but I’m hopeful they’ll become less frequent at least.
So the other night was one of those days. Both of the little ones were not at their best. G had cried at drop off for the first time, and E was a bit emotional. I survived pickup, got them home, and we sat down for dinner. And then things went downhill. G realized that he finished his banana, and lost it. He did his crying thing where he’s blowing raspberries with his lips and crying so hard his whole body is shaking. (The same sort of crying that came with his smash cake). He’d sample each piece of food on his plate, and then raspberry them out while getting more and more upset.
There was no comforting, no reasoning, there was only an absence of banana, and he was upset. E had his own issues. We were eating chicken nuggets, and he kept telling me that he wanted them open, as he tried to peel them apart like a sandwich, which of course wasn’t working. If you’re a parent, you probably see the trap.. I did too, yet I fell for it anyway. I offered to cut his nugget in half. He agreed… and then proceeded to lose it.
You see, once something has been cut in half, it does not go back together. This is a painful lesson that takes tiny humans years to learn. And we parents must suffer through, falling for it over and over again, listening to the tears that come with “put it back together” pleas. In the midst of this, E realized that G still had an uncut nugget. At about the same time, G realized that E wanted it. So of course there was only one possible choice.
G started chewing on the uncut nugget.
E started howling and trying to throw himself out of his chair, because he wanted what baby G had. And baby G was quickly realizing he had something valuable, and was waving it around in front of his brother, just slightly out of reach.
There was no solution, no reason.
Eventually they were both crying, because that’s the way it always ends. It’s hard to comfort two children when you can’t pick them both up, or fit them both on your lap. It wasn’t easy, but being the super mama that I am, I did it. I got us all settled with a bunch of crayons and some paper, and we were coloring. Well some of us were, and some of us were being reminded over and over that crayons aren’t food.
It was all going well, in that way that you know it can’t possibly last, when it happened. G reached for E’s pencil case filled with crayons. The one with the puppies on it, that even though he’s currently scared of puppies, he still loves and doesn’t want anyone to touch. E defended it with all his might and I told baby G that he could have the other crayons, but those were E’s. And he was upset, but decided I was right and moved on to the other crayons.
Or not.
He was sitting in that weird “M” pose he always sits in with his legs splayed out to the side. He started wailing and rose up on his knees with his hands up in the air… and then threw himself backwards as hard as he could. Which resulted in him falling over, with his head breaking his fall first on the hardwood floor. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy about it.
That’s pretty much the cycle we’re trapped in right now. Small moments of happiness and “I can’t believe how awesome my life is!” mixed in with moments of panic and crying and feeling like the roof is falling down. It’s hard to write updates, because depending on the last moment I had, my view on life changes drastically.
It’s emotionally draining, of course. To be in charge of someone else’s happiness. To always be the one to cheer them up when they’re sad, to make them feel better when they’re hurt. But the reward is of course that they believe you can do anything. It’s a pretty amazing feeling, and it makes it pretty worth it.
