Post Partum

Just Me

Sometimes I feel like this past year has turned me from Caitlin into a mom, and nothing more.  Don't get me wrong, being a mom is awesome, but every once in a while something happens that leaves me feeling a little funny.  Someone will ask me a question I normally would know the answer to, and I realize I have no clue. 

For instance, I went to a Red Sox game recently!  There was a time where I'd go to 10-15 games a season, and lately I'm lucky when I average one.  This was actually a pretty easy game to go to, but it still required a bit of planning.  I went with my co-workers, and it was a 1:05 game.  Tom worked from home so he could do daycare pickup, but I still managed to get home for bedtime.  

Inside My Mind

Although most days I'm back to feeling like myself - calm, level headed, in control, uncaring about obnoxious people - there are still occasional days where I can't turn it off.  The anxiety that has popped up sporadically since giving birth makes a reappearance and there seems to be nothing to do but wait it out.  

It Was a Good Weekend

Today's not a great day, for various reasons.  The obnoxious thing is I'm no longer certain of my own feelings - am I really upset over something, or is it being amplified by my hormones?  I used to hate it when people claimed their hormones were affecting their emotions because it seemed like BS to me.  It didn't happen to me.  

A Jumble of Thoughts

I've been meaning to write something like this for a while, but have been struggling to put my thoughts together. And struggling with if I even wanted to share.  And then once I think about sharing, the sheer amount of stuff I want to talk about comes pouring out.  

Being a parent is hard.  And I struggle a lot with if I'm editing too much to make it look all sunshine and rainbows, and leaving out some of the harder parts.  Because the last thing I want to do is make someone else feel bad because they think that I have it all together when in reality I don't.  

A New Normal

I had to go into the city the other day.

It's weird, I've only been gone 3 weeks, but already everything is foreign. I got off at the same T stop I used to get off at every day for work. And already it felt as if I was getting off at a random stop in a different city. Nothing seemed familiar and I felt lost, even though I knew where I was going.