I’ve officially fallen into the maternity leave vortex. All day yesterday I was SURE it was Wednesday. Because the day before it was definitely Tuesday. Except it wasn’t, and yesterday was Thursday. I almost showed up to the police department to get the car seats checked, but luckily I was too tired yesterday because they only check car seats on Wednesdays.
Some days I have things totally together. The littlest one and I leave the house early and grab coffee. Laundry gets done, the house gets picked up, and items get crossed off my to-do list. Other days G decides he’ll only nap on my chest and I get caught up with naps, bottles, diaper changes and and then suddenly it’s time for daycare pickup and I’m not sure where the hours went. I’m not exaggerating when I say there’s an email I’ve been trying to respond to for three weeks now.
Both types of days are fine honestly. Some days, things need to be done. And some days, I need to cuddle the baby. It helps cut down on the guilt I feel when he gets ignored because the toddler needs attention in the evenings. Someone’s always getting ignored lately. The cat, one of the kids, ourselves. There’s just not enough time or hands to go around. We are in the thick of it.
At the same time, I know that years from now when everyone is grown and I’m thinking back… these are the days I’m going to miss. How little they are. The cuddles. The problems that can be fixed with a hug or a graham cracker. These are the sweetest days.
Days where I order a medium coffee because I’m so tired, and bring trail mix with me to the couch because I know it may be hours until I get up again, but it’s okay because there’s a baby sleeping on my chest and I can hear his little snores. Days when I can’t remember whether it’s Wednesday or Thursday or Friday but it doesn’t really matter.
Lately E has been really into art. It makes my heart happy. A little glimpse of something he got from me maybe? I love working with him to create different things. Finger painting, crayons, markets, water art - he loves it all. I have picked up on something, though. I’m pretty sure his favorite color is orange. It’s always his first (and sometimes only) choice when coloring. I’ve noticed it with blocks too, or even pictures in books. He gravitates towards orange. Which is definitely not something he got from me. Besides yellow, it may be my least favorite color. But it’s fun to see his preferences start to come through.
And that’s what really matters. Knowing my sons favorite color. The kitchen can get cleaned later.