Heading Home


E was born Sunday morning, which meant that we headed home from the hospital on Tuesday afternoon.  I thought it was going to feel weirder than it did, but I think because every part of this process has seemed surreal, this wasn't any different.  I still don't think it ever set in that I was pregnant, I'm just continuing that denial now that E is here.  I swear sometimes I look down at this little baby in my arms and just think "WHO GAVE ME A BABY!?"

I mean, I guess if you can come to terms with the fact that you grew a human from nothing, taking that human home doesn't seem so weird in comparison?  Or I was just so tired and overwhelmed from the past few days, I was still in a haze and didn't really notice...

Tom, however, was awake enough to be nervous! He was also the one tasked with driving us all home, so when I noticed he was going 20 in a 45 and tried to comment, he just told me to hush, he was doing the best he could haha.  He got us home perfectly, though, and all of a sudden we were home and with nothing to do but keep this tiny human alive.

Which is definitely a full time job. Doable on your own, but way easier when you're running 2 against 1! On days that I'm alone, I'm constantly running a cycle of feeding, burping, changing, rocking, comforting, and trying to get him to sleep for a minute or two before the cycle starts again.  If I do get a free minute, I'm running to the bathroom or throwing a piece of food in my mouth.  Or passing out.  Because if you know anything about me, its that I love and need my sleep!  I knew it would be the worst part of being a parent, and trust me when I say if anything makes me cry, it's lack of sleep.

So if I'm not responding to requests or emails, it's because I'm BUSY.  On days when I'm not alone, I definitely have more time, and it's amazing to feel a bit normal, but I also use that time to keep our life running a bit normal.  So I might be cooking us food for the rest of the week or cleaning or responding to FMLA paperwork that needs my attention.  I am trying to keep this blog updated though, both for family and friends who like updates, but also for me - so that years in the future when these days seem like a blur and I don't remember anything, I'll be able to look back and remember.